Morning! I have been in a crazy mood lately and no it’s not the sugar, I am actually eating less of it.
Perhaps it is because I am laughing at the actions of employers and their assumptions. Oh well. I applied to be a hotdogger last night (Oscar Mayer Weiner Mobile Driver). I just love my cover letter:
To Whom it May Concern:
I am applying for the position of Hotdogger. Yes I know I am a far cry from your typical applicant but this is a risk that I am worth taking.
I was T-Boned by a school bus in 2007, 362 days after returning home from Military Police One Station Unit Training. I was given a very slim chance of surviving and if you know anything medical then you know how messed up I was.
Since then I have relearned how to drive, live independently, and have even bought my own condo! I went to school and earned my AS and BS in Accounting and my MS in Forensic Accounting. I studied hard and got near perfect GPA’s to become a college graduate.
I do use a cane or walker to walk and I do have a voice disorder known as Dysarthria but I can do one arm pushups. If you put something in front of me, I will work my hardest to overcome it. I am very creative and outgoing. I am very friendly and enthusiastic!
Oh and I am a world ranked paracyclist. I have raced my trike in Italy, Belgium, Canada, South Africa, and all throughout the world. I love to travel, to meet new people, and to explore new places.
I am serious about applying for this job and I hope this gave you a good laugh. I can read and speak a little Spanish. ¿hablas español? I am attaching my resume for your review.
And here are a few tongue twisters to get your mouth and brain moving today:
- How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?
- Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.
- If you’re keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
- Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
- Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli’ a dollie made of holly! The golli’, feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally’s jolly golli’s holly dollie Polly’s also jolly!
- Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy’s Turtles tie.
- Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.
- Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
- Octopus ocular optics.
- This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.
- A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
- I eat eel while you peel eel
- Suzie Seaword’s fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
- It’s not the cough that carries you off,
it’s the coffin they carry you off in!
- Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Me me mo mi get me a mole,
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Fe me mo mi get me a mole,
Mister kister feet so sweet,
Mister kister where will I eat !?
- Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can’t you, don’t you, won’t you, William?
- I wish you were a fish in my dish
- She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.
- The big black bug bit the big black bear,
but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!
- Dust is a disk’s worst enemy.
- I see a sea down by the seashore.
But which sea do you see down by the seashore?
- As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.
- I’m not the fig plucker,
nor the fig plucker’s son,
but I’ll pluck figs
till the fig plucker comes.