Tense times totally treated to top tips

Morning! I have been in a crazy mood lately and no it’s not the sugar, I am actually eating less of it.

Perhaps it is because I am laughing at the actions of employers and their assumptions. Oh well. I applied to be a hotdogger last night (Oscar Mayer Weiner Mobile Driver). I just love my cover letter:

To Whom it May Concern:

I am applying for the position of Hotdogger. Yes I know I am a far cry from your typical applicant but this is a risk that I am worth taking.

I was T-Boned by a school bus in 2007, 362 days after returning home from Military Police One Station Unit Training. I was given a very slim chance of surviving and if you know anything medical then you know how messed up I was.

Since then I have relearned how to drive, live independently, and have even bought my own condo! I went to school and earned my AS and BS in Accounting and my MS in Forensic Accounting. I studied hard and got near perfect GPA’s to become a college graduate.

I do use a cane or walker to walk and I do have a voice disorder known as Dysarthria but I can do one arm pushups. If you put something in front of me, I will work my hardest to overcome it. I am very creative and outgoing. I am very friendly and enthusiastic!

Oh and I am a world ranked paracyclist. I have raced my trike in Italy, Belgium, Canada, South Africa, and all throughout the world. I love to travel, to meet new people, and to explore new places.

I am serious about applying for this job and I hope this gave you a good laugh. I can read and speak a little Spanish. ¿hablas español? I am attaching my resume for your review.

Regards,

Mandy Kloepfer

 

Thoughts?

And here are a few tongue twisters to get your mouth and brain moving today:

1. How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?
2. Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.
3. If you’re keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
   buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
4. Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.
5. Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli’ a dollie made of holly! The golli’, feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally’s jolly golli’s holly dollie Polly’s also jolly!
6. Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy’s Turtles tie.
7. Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.
8. Double bubble gum, bubbles double.
9. Octopus ocular optics.
10. This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.
11. A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.
12. I eat eel while you peel eel
13. Suzie Seaword’s fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.
14. It’s not the cough that carries you off,
    it’s the coffin they carry you off in!
15. Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
    Me me mo mi get me a mole,
    Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
    Fe me mo mi get me a mole,
    Mister kister feet so sweet,
    Mister kister where will I eat !?
16. Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
    Can’t you, don’t you, won’t you, William?
17. I wish you were a fish in my dish
18. She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.
19. The big black bug bit the big black bear,
    but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!
20. Dust is a disk’s worst enemy.
21. I see a sea down by the seashore.
    But which sea do you see down by the seashore?
22. As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.
23. I’m not the fig plucker,
    nor the fig plucker’s son,
    but I’ll pluck figs
    till the fig plucker comes.